patawa part 3 :))

Guest

>
>JINGGOY: Dad, bakit ba maalat at may asin sa dagat?
>
>ERAP: Sinadya yan ni Lord para sa ganun hindi mapanis ang mga isda..
>
>
>
>TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?
>
>BOY#1: Naglaba mam!
>
>TITSER: Tama! Eh, ang present tense?
>
>BOY#2: Naglalaba!
>
>TITSER: Tama na naman! Ano naman ang FUTURE TENSE?
>
>BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!
>
>
>AMERICAN ENGLISH:
>
>Eat All You Can,
>
>don't be shy,
>
>feel at home!
>
>IN TAGALOG:
>
>kain lang kayo ng kain,
>
>walanghiya kayo,
>
>pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!
>
>
>ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
>
>1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
>
>2. Rats are normal house pets.
>
>3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life.
>
>4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment!
>
>
>
>ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
>
>HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
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>JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
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>RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
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>JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
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>MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
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>AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
>
>GMA: half !!..
>
>
>
>TATAY: Bagsak ka na nman! Ba't di mo gayahin si Pedro? Palaging may
>honor.
>
>ANAK:Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
>
>TATAY: Bakit naman?
>
>ANAK: Matalino ang tatay nun!
>
>
>A song for our Honorable (DAW!) Congressmen and Senators, Mayors and
>Governors:
>
>"BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,KURAKOT,
>
>KURAKOT,BOOM BOOM BOOM!"
>
>
>
>INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
>
>ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
>
>INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
>
>ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.
>
>
>MGA JOB TITLES NA DAPAT NANG PALITAN:
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>PRESIDENT- pasimuno.
>
>VICE PRESIDENT- kunsitidor.
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>SECRETARY- palsipikador.
>
>TREASURER- kubrador.
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>AUDITOR- kasabwat.
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>PUBLIC RELATION OFFICER- tsismoso.
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>REPRESENTATIVES- pahamak.
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>SPOKESMAN- bolero.
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>SGT-AT-ARMS- tirador.
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>ADVISER- taga sulsol.
>
>(mas tama di bah?)
>
>
>JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
>
>TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata!
>Englisin mo yan!
>
>JUAN: Paano?
>
>TATAY: KANG GUD!
>
>
>ERAP: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San
>Francisco?
>
>OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir..
>
>ERAP: Really? Thank you..
>
>
>Pilita Corrales - Asia's Queen of Songs
>
>LANI MISALUCHA - Asia 's Nightingale.
>
>REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia 's Song Bird.
>
>GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - "Mole of Asia "

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» patawa part 4 :))
» patawa part 2 :))
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