Patayin ang sumpa part 2

Admin Posts : 72 Join date : 2009-06-29 Age : 47

Street Vendor : 'bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!'

gf : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako
virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!

Couple talking:

wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa
bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami
sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either s*x or
bake ako ng cake.
husband : so pinag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

ANG MARRIED LIFE....

May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
'HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!'

Husband: 'Paratina lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!'
Wife: 'Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!'
Husband: 'Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!'
Wife: 'Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!'

Sa harap ng nursery window;

Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!

Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

Friend: 'Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!'
Husband: 'Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!'
Friend: 'Surprise? Ano occassion?'
Husband: 'Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!'

Health Advisory: 'Beer contains female hormones, and can
turn men into women.
After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable,
irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!'

WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MONA!!!

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya 'GO TO
HELL', kaya ito uwi agad ako..

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na
to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising
bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na. HEHEHHE!

Population policies of countries:
China : Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA : we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA : you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!

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» Patayin ang sumpa
» patawa part 3 :))
» patawa part 2 :))
» patawa part 5 :))
» patawa part 4 :))